Guys and Dolls - uncanny love
July 8, 2007 8:15 PM Subscribe
Real Dolls and the men who love them - this 46 minute documentary explores the lives of four men and the relationships they have established with alternative partners in life. NSFW - doll nudity alert.
I wonder how much of it is loneliness and how much of it is having a partner of whom you have total control.
posted by pg at 8:36 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by pg at 8:36 PM on July 8, 2007
The dolls don't talk back. That costs extra.
posted by puke & cry at 8:45 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by puke & cry at 8:45 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
The horror. THE HORROR.
(Beyond the existential angst of it all, I am incredibly disturbed by puppets, ventriloquist's dummies, et cetera. So yeah, I made it all the way to the four-minute mark.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:47 PM on July 8, 2007
(Beyond the existential angst of it all, I am incredibly disturbed by puppets, ventriloquist's dummies, et cetera. So yeah, I made it all the way to the four-minute mark.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:47 PM on July 8, 2007
I'm torn between thinking, "Sure, whatever kind of sex toys consenting adults want, fine, who cares?" and having squirmy flashbacks of Vinnie D'Onofrio in The Cell.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:51 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:51 PM on July 8, 2007
halekon, was the video posted in that thread? I thought the documentary had only recently appeared on BBC.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:53 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by madamjujujive at 8:53 PM on July 8, 2007
Viewers' Journal:
1 min: Pity for these poor bastards.
2 min: Slight heebeegeebees.
3 min: Utter revulsion realizing that these men probably have sex with these dolls ten times a day.
posted by portisfreak at 9:10 PM on July 8, 2007
1 min: Pity for these poor bastards.
2 min: Slight heebeegeebees.
3 min: Utter revulsion realizing that these men probably have sex with these dolls ten times a day.
posted by portisfreak at 9:10 PM on July 8, 2007
I watched the whole thing and found it extremely interesting. The only really strange thing that I see is when the men attribute certain human characteristics or experiences to the dolls that they don't have. Davecat, for example, talks about his doll missing him when he ships her off for repair.
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:14 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:14 PM on July 8, 2007
i suppose this keeps these guys from kidnapping real women and keeping them in captivity...
posted by dopamine at 9:17 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by dopamine at 9:17 PM on July 8, 2007
I thought that realdolls were pretty cool when they came out. I just saw them as really expensive designer sex toys.
But the anthropomorphism just creeps me out.
posted by so_ at 9:24 PM on July 8, 2007
But the anthropomorphism just creeps me out.
posted by so_ at 9:24 PM on July 8, 2007
I stopped watching at the point where Davecat is shown massaging his doll's feet while talking about loneliness.
I couldn't handle any more of that.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:26 PM on July 8, 2007
I couldn't handle any more of that.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:26 PM on July 8, 2007
okay, the making videos of themselves with the dolls creeps me out too
posted by so_ at 9:27 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by so_ at 9:27 PM on July 8, 2007
The guys are all similarly emotionally stunted - as though they've not matured at all since they were teenagers. Between Davecat living in his parents' basement (probably still paying off the visa bill for his 'girlfriend'), the guy with the drum set in the guest bedroom and bragging about the broad sword his mom gave him, and the guy who's left his mother's room exactly as it was when she died and refers to himself as a 'superhero'...wow. Creeptown.
They are pretty much incapable of having a real relationship (with the possible exception of Mike, of whom I can only say 'Oh, dear god, Jody.') with a so-called "organic woman" and don't have close to a clue about women. It's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy on their part, but if your ideal romantic partner is one who is essentially the rubber equivalent of a corpse, then you probably shouldn't try to date real women. Ever. And after starring in that doc, they likely won't have an option about it.
posted by SassHat at 9:32 PM on July 8, 2007
They are pretty much incapable of having a real relationship (with the possible exception of Mike, of whom I can only say 'Oh, dear god, Jody.') with a so-called "organic woman" and don't have close to a clue about women. It's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy on their part, but if your ideal romantic partner is one who is essentially the rubber equivalent of a corpse, then you probably shouldn't try to date real women. Ever. And after starring in that doc, they likely won't have an option about it.
posted by SassHat at 9:32 PM on July 8, 2007
Well the story that interested me the most is the guy who began dating a flesh-and-blood woman, and who introduced her to his 8 dolls. I am adding Real Doll ownership to my list of things to screen for in potential future dates just to avert a moment like that. Nothing in Miss Manners covers Real Dolls.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:35 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by madamjujujive at 9:35 PM on July 8, 2007
Note to self, lie about real doll ownership in the event of screening by potential future date.
posted by stavrogin at 9:39 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by stavrogin at 9:39 PM on July 8, 2007
Those dolls were totally hot. They could do better then the losers they've attached themselves to.
posted by mazola at 9:43 PM on July 8, 2007 [8 favorites]
posted by mazola at 9:43 PM on July 8, 2007 [8 favorites]
The best (worst?) part is when the doll repairman's attractive girlfriend is talking about how initially she was jealous of the dolls. And he says, basically, that the dolls are a threat to women.
SPOILERS
***
Then he talks about how GREAT the sex is with the dolls! I mean, I don't want to hear that my sex doll repairman has had sex with someone else's doll!!! Also, when he reaches in to repair the doll's most, er...delicate parts? gross, wrong, gross. He knows where it's been! Ewwww....
posted by SassHat at 9:43 PM on July 8, 2007
SPOILERS
***
Then he talks about how GREAT the sex is with the dolls! I mean, I don't want to hear that my sex doll repairman has had sex with someone else's doll!!! Also, when he reaches in to repair the doll's most, er...delicate parts? gross, wrong, gross. He knows where it's been! Ewwww....
posted by SassHat at 9:43 PM on July 8, 2007
oh
my
god.
What an interesting world and fascinating problem solving. Wonder how the doll maker, Matt with the BONG tee shirt, started his biz.
At minute 33, when there is a running out of over-used body parts. yikes.
Interesting about these guys, they aren't bad looking really but there seems to be a rigidity in their approach -or lack of it- in connecting with organic others. They are in some ways almost robotic but flexible,somehow reminiscent of the dolls. The guy with the guns was majorly scary.
Interesting the men, except for Davecat, whose parents could barely tolerate one doll, had more than one doll. So it's not like one doll was a bitch or had saggy body parts, had gained weight and the men felt entitled to cheat. It validated for me that men are not by nature monogamous, even with dolls.
Object constancy and an inability to connect with others in emotionally healthy ways.
posted by nickyskye at 9:45 PM on July 8, 2007 [4 favorites]
my
god.
What an interesting world and fascinating problem solving. Wonder how the doll maker, Matt with the BONG tee shirt, started his biz.
At minute 33, when there is a running out of over-used body parts. yikes.
Interesting about these guys, they aren't bad looking really but there seems to be a rigidity in their approach -or lack of it- in connecting with organic others. They are in some ways almost robotic but flexible,somehow reminiscent of the dolls. The guy with the guns was majorly scary.
Interesting the men, except for Davecat, whose parents could barely tolerate one doll, had more than one doll. So it's not like one doll was a bitch or had saggy body parts, had gained weight and the men felt entitled to cheat. It validated for me that men are not by nature monogamous, even with dolls.
Object constancy and an inability to connect with others in emotionally healthy ways.
posted by nickyskye at 9:45 PM on July 8, 2007 [4 favorites]
across the board there seemed to be a strong level of distrust for women. That didn't surprise me. What did is that they all expressed a desire for a sort of situational stasis. The dolls unchanging nature and constant presence was comforting to these men. That sort of rejection of the temporary nature of human experience seemed very bizarre to me.
I was surprised to not be disgusted by the dolls or the men who use them. The whole documentary just made me feel pity. The dollmaker's description of them as a sort of orthotic for the socially incapable seems quite apt. The one instance that did give me the gibblies was when the doll repairman discussed his experience with the dolls i had the impression that he was talking about dolls sent to him for repairs. He didn't seem to have any of his own. I doubt the owners would be happy about him taking such liberties.
posted by subtle_squid at 9:46 PM on July 8, 2007
I was surprised to not be disgusted by the dolls or the men who use them. The whole documentary just made me feel pity. The dollmaker's description of them as a sort of orthotic for the socially incapable seems quite apt. The one instance that did give me the gibblies was when the doll repairman discussed his experience with the dolls i had the impression that he was talking about dolls sent to him for repairs. He didn't seem to have any of his own. I doubt the owners would be happy about him taking such liberties.
posted by subtle_squid at 9:46 PM on July 8, 2007
pg, that "real" pubic hair gave me a mental image of a big fat guy with a hairy back, surrounded by piles of ziplock bags, holding clippers in one hand and a mouse in the other to check for orders on his website.
posted by subtle_squid at 9:53 PM on July 8, 2007 [6 favorites]
posted by subtle_squid at 9:53 PM on July 8, 2007 [6 favorites]
It validated for me that men are not by nature monogamous, even with dolls.
It validated for me that some men will fuck anything with a hole.
posted by SassHat at 9:57 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
It validated for me that some men will fuck anything with a hole.
posted by SassHat at 9:57 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Man, the Oscars are a waste.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:03 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:03 PM on July 8, 2007
I've had quite a string of less-than-satisfying human sexual partners and significant others, so maybe it's time to give a doll a try.
We'll have such fun! We'll take a class, go boating, watch Grey's Anatomy, chill at the pool, hit the town and go out for drinks, and get stoned and jam together.
And when it all inevitably comes undone , I'll just find another with bigger tits.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:04 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
We'll have such fun! We'll take a class, go boating, watch Grey's Anatomy, chill at the pool, hit the town and go out for drinks, and get stoned and jam together.
And when it all inevitably comes undone , I'll just find another with bigger tits.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:04 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Wtf was that goo that came out during the cleaning session? Blech!
posted by spacelux at 10:04 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by spacelux at 10:04 PM on July 8, 2007
RealDoll.com.
$6999 for a male doll, $5999 for a female.
posted by nickyskye at 10:08 PM on July 8, 2007
$6999 for a male doll, $5999 for a female.
posted by nickyskye at 10:08 PM on July 8, 2007
Wtf was that goo that came out during the cleaning session? Blech!
LOL, what do you think it was?
posted by nickyskye at 10:11 PM on July 8, 2007
LOL, what do you think it was?
posted by nickyskye at 10:11 PM on July 8, 2007
it isn't just guys who are into this. here's a look at charlie, who will set the woman who has everything back $6999.00 plus $500 shipping (link definitely nsfw). charlie comes with a history, he's been in several online snarkfests i've participated in.
posted by bruce at 10:12 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by bruce at 10:12 PM on July 8, 2007
Is it really women who are ordering Charlie?
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:15 PM on July 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:15 PM on July 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
I'm not judgmental about people's proclivities as long as adults consent and horses aren't scared, but this was a memorable, even haunting film. And another example of why British TV isn't just a thousand times better than U.S. TV, but a whole different breed of cat.
posted by aboutblank at 10:17 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by aboutblank at 10:17 PM on July 8, 2007
It's true, it is a haunting and memorable film. Nicely said.
it isn't just guys who are into this. here's a look at charlie
Is it really women who are ordering Charlie?
hmmm, Wonder if Charlie likes Broadway show tunes?
posted by nickyskye at 10:21 PM on July 8, 2007
it isn't just guys who are into this. here's a look at charlie
Is it really women who are ordering Charlie?
hmmm, Wonder if Charlie likes Broadway show tunes?
posted by nickyskye at 10:21 PM on July 8, 2007
Just out of curiosity, I plugged "realdoll" into a Flickr search. Of course, interesting/creepy/weirdness ensued.
posted by TochterAusElysium at 10:23 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by TochterAusElysium at 10:23 PM on July 8, 2007
(And it kind of looks like the guy from the video!)
posted by TochterAusElysium at 10:26 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by TochterAusElysium at 10:26 PM on July 8, 2007
bruce writes "it isn't just guys who are into this. here's a look at charlie"
Dude. I think you're missing something.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:37 PM on July 8, 2007
Dude. I think you're missing something.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:37 PM on July 8, 2007
The year these came out, I was working at a "specialty lingerie" place. If anybody here knows adhesive bras or little boobie bandaids for sundresses that show nipple, those were the stars in the stable of the company I worked for. They licensed them and sold them to all the department stores. You might possibly be able to pull the brand from memory if you went strapless to a dance. The waterbra was them, too: the introducers of silicon bra inserts and such. I got free waterbras!!!!!!1
I was a first-time temp, but I caught a fly in mid air in the interview, dropped it in the wastebasket and said "Also, I'm a Jedi," and she hired me. She was the vice-president and I was her assistant. Fun job for a teenager like me, all AP-ed and Drama-clubbed up.
That year I talked to more perverts than I ever had before, and heed: AP and Drama club and unsupervised friday and saturday nights at the Cafe Voltaire and the parking structre and clovey alleyways. Before downtown Ventura got a facelift.
A legion of men would call in, call the number they read, I don't know where. The Breast Petals (someday band name for somebody awesome) had been in a couple fashion magazines, teenager magazines, and Cosmo, I think, and so we had a lot of orders, but there had never been retail sales before and those went to me to fill. I took orders, and only I did. Ambrosia Voyeur in her high school cum professional getup. Saving money for my vinyl prom gown.
Well, anyway, there was a warehouse full of nice first-generation Oxnardians for me to finally mingle with, a pretty unorthodox entry to the community at large from my HS experience, and a damn fine taco truck. No one around here ever called them anything less singular. It's not a roach coach, pendejo, speak English. Good food, good company, I couldn't complain. Lingerie Solutions, this is Ambrosia, how can I help you?
They were weird though, and stark, fluorescent colored and made me furrow my forehead, and they were the only thing happening in my little private office, those cockamaimie stories they spun, figuring out the best ways to get me talking more and about myself. Asking for lingerie advice based on my personal trials of the products really, (never asked much about the bottom's up! panty with the special foam insert the enhance your natural curves) didn't know WHAT to ask about, really, they only had a magazine mention of a bra and a phone number. Would it have been different if they knew iI was so young? I thought, immediately chastising myself for my liberal privilege and remembering pentintenly those poor girls in the midwest who have nothing to do but weddings and babies.
One was a stalker in RL as well as in hard-sell shopping phone calls. He wanted to know what I thought she would like, his neighbor who didn't know he existed.
I wonder, what got them interested the the first place - the bra part or the silicone part? That was the year realldolls came out. Those dudes should have just bought realdolls, I should have given them that number. I have remorse, but I still have nostalgia.
Now these are just good decor.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:40 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
I was a first-time temp, but I caught a fly in mid air in the interview, dropped it in the wastebasket and said "Also, I'm a Jedi," and she hired me. She was the vice-president and I was her assistant. Fun job for a teenager like me, all AP-ed and Drama-clubbed up.
That year I talked to more perverts than I ever had before, and heed: AP and Drama club and unsupervised friday and saturday nights at the Cafe Voltaire and the parking structre and clovey alleyways. Before downtown Ventura got a facelift.
A legion of men would call in, call the number they read, I don't know where. The Breast Petals (someday band name for somebody awesome) had been in a couple fashion magazines, teenager magazines, and Cosmo, I think, and so we had a lot of orders, but there had never been retail sales before and those went to me to fill. I took orders, and only I did. Ambrosia Voyeur in her high school cum professional getup. Saving money for my vinyl prom gown.
Well, anyway, there was a warehouse full of nice first-generation Oxnardians for me to finally mingle with, a pretty unorthodox entry to the community at large from my HS experience, and a damn fine taco truck. No one around here ever called them anything less singular. It's not a roach coach, pendejo, speak English. Good food, good company, I couldn't complain. Lingerie Solutions, this is Ambr
They were weird though, and stark, fluorescent colored and made me furrow my forehead, and they were the only thing happening in my little private office, those cockamaimie stories they spun, figuring out the best ways to get me talking more and about myself. Asking for lingerie advice based on my personal trials of the products really, (never asked much about the bottom's up! panty with the special foam insert the enhance your natural curves) didn't know WHAT to ask about, really, they only had a magazine mention of a bra and a phone number. Would it have been different if they knew iI was so young? I thought, immediately chastising myself for my liberal privilege and remembering pentintenly those poor girls in the midwest who have nothing to do but weddings and babies.
One was a stalker in RL as well as in hard-sell shopping phone calls. He wanted to know what I thought she would like, his neighbor who didn't know he existed.
I wonder, what got them interested the the first place - the bra part or the silicone part? That was the year realldolls came out. Those dudes should have just bought realdolls, I should have given them that number. I have remorse, but I still have nostalgia.
Now these are just good decor.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:40 PM on July 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Elysium: Run! Somebody made Lindsay Lohan real mad!!!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:48 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:48 PM on July 8, 2007
it is refreshing to know that even though this gentleman may have a few Lords short of a House, he has not lost his dry, British wit.
posted by oflinkey at 11:00 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by oflinkey at 11:00 PM on July 8, 2007
Wow - I can see her uncanny valley...!
posted by TochterAusElysium at 11:02 PM on July 8, 2007 [8 favorites]
posted by TochterAusElysium at 11:02 PM on July 8, 2007 [8 favorites]
And he did, after all, make an honest woman out of at least one of his dolls.
posted by SassHat at 11:09 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by SassHat at 11:09 PM on July 8, 2007
I have a rip of Real Doll Complete Collection, a Japanese softcore documentary about guys and their realdolls. They go to the factory and talk to the guys repairing broken dolls, and travel around Japan meeting owners. One uses his real doll on camera! Maybe a quarter of the movie is composed of these creepy interludes of realdolls posed in public parks.
If you want a copy, my email's in my profile.
posted by blasdelf at 11:13 PM on July 8, 2007
If you want a copy, my email's in my profile.
posted by blasdelf at 11:13 PM on July 8, 2007
Quote from the repairman: "I'm running out of vaginas."
posted by eye of newt at 11:17 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by eye of newt at 11:17 PM on July 8, 2007
I'm just 2:38 in and this is freaking me out more then any horror movie I've seen in at least 10 years.
posted by andywolf at 11:36 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by andywolf at 11:36 PM on July 8, 2007
I stopped watching at the point where Davecat is shown massaging his doll's feet while talking about loneliness.
I made it just past that, to the interchangable tongues. And that made me almost throw up. What. The. Shit.
posted by fusinski at 11:37 PM on July 8, 2007
I made it just past that, to the interchangable tongues. And that made me almost throw up. What. The. Shit.
posted by fusinski at 11:37 PM on July 8, 2007
"We're alone now."
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:45 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:45 PM on July 8, 2007
Eek. I could only get through the Salon article, but maybe one day curiosity will get the better of me and I'll watch the documentary. I am sure it's pretty compelling.
I am reminded of the trailer for the movie Love Object, about a lonely young man who has a life sized doll named Nikki for companionship. When he falls for a (flesh and blood) co-worker, the young man starts to think that Nikki is "jealous" of the real woman. Scariness ensues.
I am also reminded of the art of Hans Bellmer (SFW, text-only on linked page, but if you click on the links to images they may not be so SFW)--he was a surrealist who made life-sized grotesque dolls (and sculptures and drawings of similar). He saw it as a social critique of the Nazi state he lived in. I had never heard of Bellmer and happened to come across an exhibit of his work in Paris last year; it was disturbing but thought-provoking.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:54 PM on July 8, 2007
I am reminded of the trailer for the movie Love Object, about a lonely young man who has a life sized doll named Nikki for companionship. When he falls for a (flesh and blood) co-worker, the young man starts to think that Nikki is "jealous" of the real woman. Scariness ensues.
I am also reminded of the art of Hans Bellmer (SFW, text-only on linked page, but if you click on the links to images they may not be so SFW)--he was a surrealist who made life-sized grotesque dolls (and sculptures and drawings of similar). He saw it as a social critique of the Nazi state he lived in. I had never heard of Bellmer and happened to come across an exhibit of his work in Paris last year; it was disturbing but thought-provoking.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:54 PM on July 8, 2007
You know they are just waiting for the upgrade version that will make them a sammich and fetch them beers.
posted by gomichild at 11:54 PM on July 8, 2007
posted by gomichild at 11:54 PM on July 8, 2007
Hollywood was way ahead of this and made a movie about it in '87.
posted by andywolf at 12:04 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by andywolf at 12:04 AM on July 9, 2007
Can they customize the dolls? Like this? I'm just curious.
posted by homunculus at 12:05 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by homunculus at 12:05 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
In my day we were happy with a Kleenex.
posted by Phanx at 12:26 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Phanx at 12:26 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
I have dated a couple of women who didn't seem that far off the walking talking version of something like this (at least in terms of a meaningful relationship).
At least all the cost with these ones is up front.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:28 AM on July 9, 2007
At least all the cost with these ones is up front.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:28 AM on July 9, 2007
Real Dolls are so old school, the Gimpling is where it's at now. (NSFW, tasteless and offensive, self link)
posted by Meatbomb at 12:30 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by Meatbomb at 12:30 AM on July 9, 2007
The realdolls mostly creep me out but I am not ashamed to admit I would be tempted to have a go at that Real Doll made from "Nip/Tuck". The one the producers had custom made to look exactly like Kimber. That was hot.
posted by Justinian at 12:33 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by Justinian at 12:33 AM on July 9, 2007
Well, this is just making me reimagine Mannequin as an awesomely creepy character study. The film as we see it is shot from his, unfortunately, imaginary, perspective, and what everyone else sees is a great deal closer to this video. Yech.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:52 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:52 AM on July 9, 2007
gomichild writes 'You know they are just waiting for the upgrade version that will make them a sammich and fetch them beers.'
Also, the model with the flat head, so you can balance the beer glass right on there without spilling any. That should sell like gangbusters.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:02 AM on July 9, 2007
Also, the model with the flat head, so you can balance the beer glass right on there without spilling any. That should sell like gangbusters.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:02 AM on July 9, 2007
homunculus : They do some custom work. That's a bona fide dark elf you're looking at!
posted by hindmost at 1:13 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by hindmost at 1:13 AM on July 9, 2007
Do they make one with green skin like Captain Kirk shagged?
posted by bukvich at 1:24 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by bukvich at 1:24 AM on July 9, 2007
Somebody's been watching too much Weird Science and old Tom Hanks movies.
posted by IronLizard at 1:46 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by IronLizard at 1:46 AM on July 9, 2007
I don't know whether I was more disturbed by these guys treating inanimate objects like people, or treating things that look like people as mere objects (complete with hooks to hang them by, casual replacement of parts, etc.).
Also, I think this would take more patience for the typical guy, not less. I mean, come on, it's bad enough waiting for her to get dressed, put on makeup, do her hair -- but to do those things for her? No thanks.
posted by dreamsign at 1:53 AM on July 9, 2007
Also, I think this would take more patience for the typical guy, not less. I mean, come on, it's bad enough waiting for her to get dressed, put on makeup, do her hair -- but to do those things for her? No thanks.
posted by dreamsign at 1:53 AM on July 9, 2007
I thought you meant dolls as in Miniature Dolls, and not the blow up variety, if that is what you are referring to; my google video is busted.
That would've been sweet if these were men who were fond of really old Elizabethan type dolls.
posted by hadjiboy at 2:40 AM on July 9, 2007
That would've been sweet if these were men who were fond of really old Elizabethan type dolls.
posted by hadjiboy at 2:40 AM on July 9, 2007
They are sort of like really old Elizabethan type dolls, hadjiboy, except they are bigger and you can fuck them.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:29 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by Meatbomb at 3:29 AM on July 9, 2007
This is all just a precursor to the virtual sex experience that is probably right around the corner (I'm surprised no one has done it yet). You'll strap some 3D helmet on and some sort of virtual pocket pussy thing and go into second life all ready to buy a virtual prostitute... why shell out for the doll?
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:31 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:31 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Well made doc, but I could only make it to the 8 minute mark or so. Scares the crap out of me to think that anyone could think that a "relationship" with a doll as a legitimate one. *shudder*
It makes me sad not in the sense of "Oh, those poor losers can't get laid", but more "Jesus, human beings will really make themselves believe anything."
posted by zardoz at 4:32 AM on July 9, 2007
It makes me sad not in the sense of "Oh, those poor losers can't get laid", but more "Jesus, human beings will really make themselves believe anything."
posted by zardoz at 4:32 AM on July 9, 2007
I suppose the ultimate in narcississm would be to have a realdoll made that looks like yourself and then to fuck it.
posted by jonmc at 4:48 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 4:48 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
jonmc: That'd be the Bianca Jagger Deluxe model.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:08 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:08 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Film Guy 3 (I think): "I'm in complete control. . . . It's all about what I want. . . . Nobody tells me what to do. . . . etc., etc."
But yeah, it's your skin that makes you unattractive to women, Sparky.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:10 AM on July 9, 2007
But yeah, it's your skin that makes you unattractive to women, Sparky.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:10 AM on July 9, 2007
This is all just a precursor to the virtual sex experience that is probably right around the corner (I'm surprised no one has done it yet). You'll strap some 3D helmet on and some sort of virtual pocket pussy thing and go into second life all ready to buy a virtual prostitute... why shell out for the doll?
We still have problems (motion sickness, headaches, etc) trying to convincingly simulate environments with _very_ limited interaction (ie: all you do is walk around and use a gun-like pointer). Having any sort of believable VR simulation of direct human-to-human contact is still quite impractical, if not impossible. Plus, any sort of convincing simulation of the desired lower-body actions would require stronger motors than the usual vibrator, which could prove to be rather dangerous to stick your naughty bits into...
Back to the topic at hand and putting aside the typical creepiness, those dolls seem to be a royal pain in the ass to move around. Asimo-level bipedal walking is still _way_ beyond the manufacturing budget for a commercial product, but if I were building those things I'd try to develop some sort of cheap and stupid "assisted walk" feature, where the legs simply cycle through a dumb preprogrammed gait. The customer could then move the literal object of his affection by having it "lean" on him and guiding its path.
posted by PsychoKick at 5:33 AM on July 9, 2007
We still have problems (motion sickness, headaches, etc) trying to convincingly simulate environments with _very_ limited interaction (ie: all you do is walk around and use a gun-like pointer). Having any sort of believable VR simulation of direct human-to-human contact is still quite impractical, if not impossible. Plus, any sort of convincing simulation of the desired lower-body actions would require stronger motors than the usual vibrator, which could prove to be rather dangerous to stick your naughty bits into...
Back to the topic at hand and putting aside the typical creepiness, those dolls seem to be a royal pain in the ass to move around. Asimo-level bipedal walking is still _way_ beyond the manufacturing budget for a commercial product, but if I were building those things I'd try to develop some sort of cheap and stupid "assisted walk" feature, where the legs simply cycle through a dumb preprogrammed gait. The customer could then move the literal object of his affection by having it "lean" on him and guiding its path.
posted by PsychoKick at 5:33 AM on July 9, 2007
if I were building those things I'd try to develop some sort of cheap and stupid "assisted walk" feature, where the legs simply cycle through a dumb preprogrammed gait
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHmommmmI'm havingthatdreamagain!!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:38 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHmommmmI'm havingthatdreamagain!!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:38 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Hollywood was way ahead of this and made a movie about it in '75.
posted by TedW at 5:55 AM on July 9, 2007
Can I get one that shoots little tiny Realdoll bunny rabbits out of it's battered and worn vagina?
posted by longbaugh at 6:30 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by longbaugh at 6:30 AM on July 9, 2007
This thread reminds me of a joke:
A lonely man decided to buy a rubber doll in a sex shop. He chooses the model and asks the clerk to pack the item in a discreet packaging. She is on it, when the man suddenly stops her.
"Please, miss, can you check the production date?"
"Of course... January 2004"
The man responds worried:
"Oh no, no good, a Capricorn."
posted by Mintyblonde at 8:03 AM on July 9, 2007
A lonely man decided to buy a rubber doll in a sex shop. He chooses the model and asks the clerk to pack the item in a discreet packaging. She is on it, when the man suddenly stops her.
"Please, miss, can you check the production date?"
"Of course... January 2004"
The man responds worried:
"Oh no, no good, a Capricorn."
posted by Mintyblonde at 8:03 AM on July 9, 2007
The Greeks were way ahead of this and made a myth in antiquity.
:P
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:18 AM on July 9, 2007
:P
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:18 AM on July 9, 2007
Excellent, excellent video, mjjj. Hilarious, creepy, fascinating! Thanks for this.
posted by jonson at 8:29 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by jonson at 8:29 AM on July 9, 2007
got the creeps big-time when Everard (the second guy) refered to the local women as 'unobtainable'...
posted by sleep_walker at 8:54 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by sleep_walker at 8:54 AM on July 9, 2007
I found myself judging the men first by what they said, and second, by how well their dolls were done up. Davecat's a disaster with eyeliner but Everard's quite savvy overall. The bad skin guy does not "keep them nice, with their hair breshed and purty," to use my grandmother's doll terminology.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:10 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:10 AM on July 9, 2007
It validated for me that men are not by nature monogamous, even with dolls.
Well.. It illustrates that men who find inanimate dolls to be a reasonable substitute for an actual human partner are not by nature monogamous. So, it isn't exactly an interesting data point on either side of the argument.
posted by Chuckles at 9:12 AM on July 9, 2007
Well.. It illustrates that men who find inanimate dolls to be a reasonable substitute for an actual human partner are not by nature monogamous. So, it isn't exactly an interesting data point on either side of the argument.
posted by Chuckles at 9:12 AM on July 9, 2007
Excerpt from the Real Doll instruction manual (via Harpers):
Your REALdoll’s internal skeleton is jointed much like a real human being; certain positions are stressful on the joints. In other words, your doll is NOT meant to be put in unusual or unnatural positions! Do not position your doll doing a “split” or spread the legs in an extreme fashion. Always be as gentle as possible when positioning your doll. Be careful with your doll’s fingers—they can be easily damaged. When posing the hand, grasp the wrist, not the fingers.
posted by hypocritical ross at 9:15 AM on July 9, 2007
Your REALdoll’s internal skeleton is jointed much like a real human being; certain positions are stressful on the joints. In other words, your doll is NOT meant to be put in unusual or unnatural positions! Do not position your doll doing a “split” or spread the legs in an extreme fashion. Always be as gentle as possible when positioning your doll. Be careful with your doll’s fingers—they can be easily damaged. When posing the hand, grasp the wrist, not the fingers.
posted by hypocritical ross at 9:15 AM on July 9, 2007
Heh, Chuckles got there first...but buying many RealDolls doesn't say anything about men in general being monogamous. Unless you really want to use these guys as a representative sample...which I wouldn't, personally. Women who wear Furry cat costumes and go into "heat" with multiple partners wouldn't be my choice for representing women as a group, either....
posted by emjaybee at 9:17 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by emjaybee at 9:17 AM on July 9, 2007
It illustrates that men who find inanimate dolls to be a reasonable substitute for an actual human partner are not by nature monogamous.
That thread of logic doesn't hold for me because these men are projecting partner attributes onto their doll and speaking about them as fulfilling a need for a kind of regular togetherness, which would under other circumstances, be another human. These RealDolls are a sort of primitive Replicant relationship.
posted by nickyskye at 9:32 AM on July 9, 2007
That thread of logic doesn't hold for me because these men are projecting partner attributes onto their doll and speaking about them as fulfilling a need for a kind of regular togetherness, which would under other circumstances, be another human. These RealDolls are a sort of primitive Replicant relationship.
posted by nickyskye at 9:32 AM on July 9, 2007
She starts to smell like fish...For the win.
posted by abulafa at 9:38 AM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
who's the narrator? i've heard his voice before and it's driving me nuts that I can't place it!
posted by spish at 11:02 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by spish at 11:02 AM on July 9, 2007
The clips of doll body parts in random locations - plastic tubs, under beds, etc, make me feel really uncomfortable.
posted by arcticwoman at 11:41 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by arcticwoman at 11:41 AM on July 9, 2007
Narrated by Mark Strong, the credits said. You probably do recognize his voice, he's been in tons of stuff. Here is his IMDB page.
posted by arcticwoman at 11:54 AM on July 9, 2007
posted by arcticwoman at 11:54 AM on July 9, 2007
Good lord, I may wish I didn't start watching this show.
Broken people trying to self-repair. What a shame.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:34 PM on July 9, 2007
Broken people trying to self-repair. What a shame.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:34 PM on July 9, 2007
Arrrgh. Circa 20min = assembly of dolls. Horrorshow.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:51 PM on July 9, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 12:51 PM on July 9, 2007
Arrrgh. Circa 33min = repairs. Crazy mofo doesn't wear gloves while doing it. Ick.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:54 PM on July 9, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 12:54 PM on July 9, 2007
ARRRRRRRRRRGH! Circa 39:35Min = doofus pulling out a grody large hunk of a years' worth of spooge from his doll. Good fucking gods.
I need to wash my brain now.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:05 PM on July 9, 2007
I need to wash my brain now.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:05 PM on July 9, 2007
Who needs inline images when five fresh fish makes sure his running commentary sears crucial scenes into your brain forever? (I tried bleach on both brain and retinas last night: didn't work.)
Why does the male Real Doll Charlie have Gary Sinise's face? Who did Sinise piss off?
I felt sorry for most of those men and angry at the film makers for the first part of the documentary, but it seems more and more likely that these guys are too far gone to feel any shame or humiliation about their preferences, so they aren't being emotionally damaged any more by their participation.
But I think Jody was really badly treated. I'm not sure if she was truly clueless, or simply in denial, about the scope of Mike's attachment to those dolls at first, but I hated seeing her blindsided by the birthday party. Would she have signed a release in advance so that no matter what was filmed, they could use it, or did she have the power to tell them to cut her afterwards if she hated how it turned out? The film tells a better story for her part in it, but she was the one most hurt by participating.
And I wouldn't assume anything one way or another about these men indicating anything about natural tendencies towards or away from monogamy, any more than I would assume that the film proved that most men really want to shop for tacky clothes and apply tacky makeup to women.
posted by maudlin at 1:36 PM on July 9, 2007
Why does the male Real Doll Charlie have Gary Sinise's face? Who did Sinise piss off?
I felt sorry for most of those men and angry at the film makers for the first part of the documentary, but it seems more and more likely that these guys are too far gone to feel any shame or humiliation about their preferences, so they aren't being emotionally damaged any more by their participation.
But I think Jody was really badly treated. I'm not sure if she was truly clueless, or simply in denial, about the scope of Mike's attachment to those dolls at first, but I hated seeing her blindsided by the birthday party. Would she have signed a release in advance so that no matter what was filmed, they could use it, or did she have the power to tell them to cut her afterwards if she hated how it turned out? The film tells a better story for her part in it, but she was the one most hurt by participating.
And I wouldn't assume anything one way or another about these men indicating anything about natural tendencies towards or away from monogamy, any more than I would assume that the film proved that most men really want to shop for tacky clothes and apply tacky makeup to women.
posted by maudlin at 1:36 PM on July 9, 2007
any more than I would assume that the film proved that most men really want to shop for tacky clothes and apply tacky makeup to women
Tendencies to shop for tacky clothes is most definitely a genetic tendency in certain males. ;-)
The make-up thing is a good point though. hmmm. Gotta ponder.
posted by nickyskye at 3:18 PM on July 9, 2007
Tendencies to shop for tacky clothes is most definitely a genetic tendency in certain males. ;-)
The make-up thing is a good point though. hmmm. Gotta ponder.
posted by nickyskye at 3:18 PM on July 9, 2007
Did you see in wozzname's garage, dude with the eight (that's $80K with shipping, folks!) dolls... the one in the far corner, near the cabinet...
her eyes moved! She's not a RealDoll... she's a quadriplegic!
[cue B-Movie music, wave flashlight under chin]
posted by five fresh fish at 3:55 PM on July 9, 2007
her eyes moved! She's not a RealDoll... she's a quadriplegic!
[cue B-Movie music, wave flashlight under chin]
posted by five fresh fish at 3:55 PM on July 9, 2007
Great. Now I'm wondering if prairie dogs would buy Real Dogs, assuming that prairie dogs had money and deep-seated psychological problems.
posted by maudlin at 4:15 PM on July 9, 2007
posted by maudlin at 4:15 PM on July 9, 2007
I couldn't turn my head away for 47 minutes. Wow. Just wow.
Thank you Metafilter for permanently diminishing my opinion of human beings.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:31 PM on July 9, 2007
Thank you Metafilter for permanently diminishing my opinion of human beings.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:31 PM on July 9, 2007
Someone should make a horror movie like five fresh fish suggested. Though this probably comes close, because I started reading the thread and I couldn't make myself watch the video after some of the vivid descriptive comments here.
posted by misha at 5:30 PM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by misha at 5:30 PM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Wtf was that goo that came out during the cleaning session? Blech!
Circa 39:35Min = doofus pulling out a grody large hunk of a years' worth of spooge from his doll.
Um, that's obviously the yellow tip of the brush, not "goo" or a "large hunk" of anything!
posted by dgaicun at 6:34 PM on July 9, 2007
Circa 39:35Min = doofus pulling out a grody large hunk of a years' worth of spooge from his doll.
Um, that's obviously the yellow tip of the brush, not "goo" or a "large hunk" of anything!
posted by dgaicun at 6:34 PM on July 9, 2007
Metafilter: Arrrgh... Arrrgh... ARRRRRRRRRRGH!
(with apologies to five fresh fish)
posted by spoobnooble at 7:41 PM on July 9, 2007
(with apologies to five fresh fish)
posted by spoobnooble at 7:41 PM on July 9, 2007
If I had the money to waste, I think I'd like to buy one of these things, mutilate it horribly (blowtorch the feet, sledgehammer the face, bits of tree bark lodged in the rectum, etc) and send it to that dude to repair it. Just to freak him the hell out.
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 9:26 PM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 9:26 PM on July 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
I'll take your word for it, dgaicun. I'm not going to freeze-frame and zoom to discover you're wrong. It is a more comforting thought.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:27 PM on July 9, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 11:27 PM on July 9, 2007
CybOrgasMatrix is where it's at - "the most sophisticated Sex Doll in history, is created from an actual life-casting of celebrity model Pandora Peaks. She is anatomically correct, robotically actuated, and made from a technically advanced formula of a durable, ultra-realistic flesh-like elastomeric gel, supported by an articulated skeleton. Her superlative and compelling realism appeal to all the senses - she speaks, she moves, she looks, feels, and smells real." [from]
posted by tellurian at 6:32 PM on July 10, 2007
posted by tellurian at 6:32 PM on July 10, 2007
Well tellurian, if the real porn star is half silicone anyway....
posted by davy at 6:55 PM on July 11, 2007
posted by davy at 6:55 PM on July 11, 2007
Speaking of the real Ms. Peaks, ARE her boobs all real? I had to look her up because I didn't know who she was (really) but I couldn't find much about her as a person besides a Wikipedia article.
posted by davy at 7:03 PM on July 11, 2007
posted by davy at 7:03 PM on July 11, 2007
Speaking of the real Ms. Peaks, ARE her boobs all real?
Well, I'd say these pictures [NSFW], or pretty much any other pictures of her, cast some serious doubt on the assertion that Pandora Peaks's breasts are natural. Plus, you know, the fact that she's named "Pandora Peaks."
I'd be amused if she changed her name to Tambora Peaks.
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 7:13 AM on July 12, 2007
Well, I'd say these pictures [NSFW], or pretty much any other pictures of her, cast some serious doubt on the assertion that Pandora Peaks's breasts are natural. Plus, you know, the fact that she's named "Pandora Peaks."
I'd be amused if she changed her name to Tambora Peaks.
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 7:13 AM on July 12, 2007
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posted by madamjujujive at 8:15 PM on July 8, 2007