Daleks coming to your neighborhood soon!
December 19, 2023 7:23 AM Subscribe
Earn cash while fighting crime. With your support, we can continue to implement our Autonomous Security Robots (ASRs) to keep communities safe.
Our range of products encompasses stationary, mobile, indoor, and outdoor robots for various purposes. Why? Because criminals and terrorists can be anywhere - and if we are serious about the mission then Knightscope needs to be everywhere.
Our range of products encompasses stationary, mobile, indoor, and outdoor robots for various purposes. Why? Because criminals and terrorists can be anywhere - and if we are serious about the mission then Knightscope needs to be everywhere.
Our Autonomous Security Robots (ASRs) are a unique combination of artificial intelligence, robotics, and self-driving technology providing human law enforcement with extra eyes, ears, and a voice on the ground.
BINGO!
[oh wait, was this not Ponzi Robocop Bingo?]
posted by chavenet at 7:47 AM on December 19, 2023 [9 favorites]
BINGO!
[oh wait, was this not Ponzi Robocop Bingo?]
posted by chavenet at 7:47 AM on December 19, 2023 [9 favorites]
I wonder what happens when you tazer one of those things.
posted by mhoye at 7:48 AM on December 19, 2023
posted by mhoye at 7:48 AM on December 19, 2023
Is there somewhere I can sign up to invest in autonomous crime-bots that perform daring daylight jewelry heists?
posted by mittens at 7:53 AM on December 19, 2023 [17 favorites]
posted by mittens at 7:53 AM on December 19, 2023 [17 favorites]
In my personal opinion this looks like a very bad investment. The terms of these bonds make the purchaser unlikely to recoup anything in bankruptcy as the terms state: "The Bonds will be subordinated to all of the Company’s indebtedness for borrowed money, whether or not such indebtedness for borrowed money is secured.". So even unsecured creditors are ahead of you in terms of collection. The company is publicly traded and its stock is trading at 62 cents / share.. In the most recent quarter they report $3.32 million in revenue vs. expenses of $6.53 million. For the year they've lost about $15.6 million. Capybara Research who hold a short position on the company created this very damning report on their prospects. It describes their security robots as nothing more than Roomba's with cameras.,
posted by interogative mood at 7:53 AM on December 19, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by interogative mood at 7:53 AM on December 19, 2023 [12 favorites]
criminals and terrorists can be anywhere
except stairs. Our research has shown that criminals and terrorists never use stairs, or stairwells, or escalators. Which, as a manufacturer of wheeled security robots, we were very relieved to find out.
Do you have stairs in your house?
Please go stand by the stairs. So we can protect you.
posted by flabdablet at 7:57 AM on December 19, 2023 [42 favorites]
except stairs. Our research has shown that criminals and terrorists never use stairs, or stairwells, or escalators. Which, as a manufacturer of wheeled security robots, we were very relieved to find out.
Do you have stairs in your house?
Please go stand by the stairs. So we can protect you.
posted by flabdablet at 7:57 AM on December 19, 2023 [42 favorites]
Help support our mission to make the U.S. the safest country in the world
If that isn't dogwhistling to the suburban MAGA crowd, I don't know what is.
I predict the C-levels suddenly bolt for the Caymans with all that juicy investor cash. I give them six months to make the move. Eight, tops.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:58 AM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
If that isn't dogwhistling to the suburban MAGA crowd, I don't know what is.
I predict the C-levels suddenly bolt for the Caymans with all that juicy investor cash. I give them six months to make the move. Eight, tops.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:58 AM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
Stop whatever you're doing right now and go read that Capybara report. It is a thing of beauty.
posted by flabdablet at 8:04 AM on December 19, 2023 [37 favorites]
In a specific incident at a local park (Huntington), when a fight broke out, the Knightscope robot failed to respond appropriately. When a woman attempted to utilize the robot's emergency alert button, it persistently instructed her to "step out of the way." As the altercation continued, the robot carried on rolling down the sidewalk, playing a whimsical tune from its speakers, and sporadically reminding bystanders to "please keep the park clean." This lack of responsiveness and misplaced behavior raises serious doubts about the robot's effectiveness in handling real-time emergencies and its ability to fulfill its intended security functions.Share and enjoy!
posted by flabdablet at 8:04 AM on December 19, 2023 [37 favorites]
Help support our mission to make the U.S. the safest country in the world
The robots will seize all the firearms? Great!
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:05 AM on December 19, 2023 [24 favorites]
The robots will seize all the firearms? Great!
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:05 AM on December 19, 2023 [24 favorites]
When they were first introduced, I used to accidentally ram the Marty robots with my shopping cart every chance I could. Fun fact: If you hit them hard enough, their blue lights will momentarily turn red almost like they're about to start with the laser blasts.
Then the pandemic happened and I started thinking a lot about the people half a world away who (maybe?) remotely operate them and I kind of started questioning whether I was the asshole.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 8:09 AM on December 19, 2023 [7 favorites]
Then the pandemic happened and I started thinking a lot about the people half a world away who (maybe?) remotely operate them and I kind of started questioning whether I was the asshole.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 8:09 AM on December 19, 2023 [7 favorites]
If that isn't dogwhistling to the suburban MAGA crowd, I don't know what is.
The robots also look like buttplugs, so make of that what you will.
posted by chavenet at 8:11 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
The robots also look like buttplugs, so make of that what you will.
posted by chavenet at 8:11 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
autonomous crime-bots that perform daring daylight jewelry heists
and then flee the scene at three miles per hour while playing a whimsical tune and shouting at bystanders to keep the park clean.
posted by flabdablet at 8:16 AM on December 19, 2023 [22 favorites]
and then flee the scene at three miles per hour while playing a whimsical tune and shouting at bystanders to keep the park clean.
posted by flabdablet at 8:16 AM on December 19, 2023 [22 favorites]
So, I'm pretty sure these are the same robots that the NYPD has stationed in a couple of the subway stations here. I am not at all surprised to see a scammy-looking "investment" page associated with them.
posted by Ampersand692 at 8:19 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Ampersand692 at 8:19 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
They'd look much more menacing if fitted with TFG hairpieces.
posted by flabdablet at 8:23 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 8:23 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Just saw an article with one of these in action in Portland.
posted by hydra77 at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by hydra77 at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
The fine all-caps print is pretty funny:
THIS WEBSITE MAY CONTAIN FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS AND INFORMATION RELATING TO, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THE COMPANY, ITS BUSINESS PLAN AND STRATEGY, AND ITS INDUSTRY. THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS ARE BASED ON THE BELIEFS OF, ASSUMPTIONS MADE BY, AND INFORMATION CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO THE COMPANY’S MANAGEMENT. WHEN USED IN THE OFFERING MATERIALS, THE WORDS “ESTIMATE,” “PROJECT,” “BELIEVE,” “ANTICIPATE,” “INTEND,” “EXPECT” AND SIMILAR EXPRESSIONS ARE INTENDED TO IDENTIFY FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS. THESE STATEMENTS REFLECT MANAGEMENT’S CURRENT VIEWS WITH RESPECT TO FUTURE EVENTS AND ARE SUBJECT TO RISKS AND UNCERTAINTIES THAT COULD CAUSE THE COMPANY’S ACTUAL RESULTS TO DIFFER MATERIALLY FROM THOSE CONTAINED IN THE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS. INVESTORS ARE CAUTIONED NOT TO PLACE UNDUE RELIANCE ON THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS, WHICH SPEAK ONLY AS OF THE DATE ON WHICH THEY ARE MADE. THE COMPANY DOES NOT UNDERTAKE ANY OBLIGATION TO REVISE OR UPDATE THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS TO REFLECT EVENTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES AFTER SUCH DATE OR TO REFLECT THE OCCURRENCE OF UNANTICIPATED EVENTS.
posted by coffeecat at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [6 favorites]
THIS WEBSITE MAY CONTAIN FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS AND INFORMATION RELATING TO, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THE COMPANY, ITS BUSINESS PLAN AND STRATEGY, AND ITS INDUSTRY. THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS ARE BASED ON THE BELIEFS OF, ASSUMPTIONS MADE BY, AND INFORMATION CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO THE COMPANY’S MANAGEMENT. WHEN USED IN THE OFFERING MATERIALS, THE WORDS “ESTIMATE,” “PROJECT,” “BELIEVE,” “ANTICIPATE,” “INTEND,” “EXPECT” AND SIMILAR EXPRESSIONS ARE INTENDED TO IDENTIFY FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS. THESE STATEMENTS REFLECT MANAGEMENT’S CURRENT VIEWS WITH RESPECT TO FUTURE EVENTS AND ARE SUBJECT TO RISKS AND UNCERTAINTIES THAT COULD CAUSE THE COMPANY’S ACTUAL RESULTS TO DIFFER MATERIALLY FROM THOSE CONTAINED IN THE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS. INVESTORS ARE CAUTIONED NOT TO PLACE UNDUE RELIANCE ON THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS, WHICH SPEAK ONLY AS OF THE DATE ON WHICH THEY ARE MADE. THE COMPANY DOES NOT UNDERTAKE ANY OBLIGATION TO REVISE OR UPDATE THESE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS TO REFLECT EVENTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES AFTER SUCH DATE OR TO REFLECT THE OCCURRENCE OF UNANTICIPATED EVENTS.
posted by coffeecat at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [6 favorites]
Stop whatever you're doing right now and go read that Capybara report
I was hoping it would be a story about how a robot was taken down by a group of rowdy capybara (capybaras? capybarae? capybaristas?)
posted by Saxon Kane at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [6 favorites]
I was hoping it would be a story about how a robot was taken down by a group of rowdy capybara (capybaras? capybarae? capybaristas?)
posted by Saxon Kane at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2023 [6 favorites]
I wonder what happens when you tazer one of those things.
I expect it deflates.
posted by flabdablet at 8:29 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
I expect it deflates.
posted by flabdablet at 8:29 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
All I can think of is what a walking stick would do to one of those, shoved in the spokes of the two front wheels.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:53 AM on December 19, 2023
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:53 AM on December 19, 2023
have they tested it with blankets and baseball bats?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:02 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by pyramid termite at 9:02 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
This lack of responsiveness and misplaced behavior raises serious doubts about the robot's effectiveness in handling real-time emergencies and its ability to fulfill its intended security functions.
Share and enjoy!
Expanding on the Douglas Adams reference, this seems appropriate for the situation:
Share and enjoy!
Expanding on the Douglas Adams reference, this seems appropriate for the situation:
It is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all. In other words ... their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.posted by Greg_Ace at 9:06 AM on December 19, 2023 [16 favorites]
I wonder how long it will take before attempting to disable a Security Robot (which I want to be clear I think is a good thing to do) is considered an assault on a police officer.
Also, I know I'm stating the obvious but crime is a social construct and as things like transness and abortion are increasingly criminalized anything that increases the ability of the state to surveil people makes us less safe, not more. These are very scary!
posted by an octopus IRL at 9:09 AM on December 19, 2023 [10 favorites]
Also, I know I'm stating the obvious but crime is a social construct and as things like transness and abortion are increasingly criminalized anything that increases the ability of the state to surveil people makes us less safe, not more. These are very scary!
posted by an octopus IRL at 9:09 AM on December 19, 2023 [10 favorites]
This is real? I thought it was satire written by someone really committed to the bit (I kept trying to find the page on the site that would give up the gag).
posted by asnider at 9:17 AM on December 19, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by asnider at 9:17 AM on December 19, 2023 [9 favorites]
I have recently coined a new unnatural law: any sufficiently advanced marketing campaign is indistinguishable from satire.
Also, those Knightscape robots remind me of this other autonomous robot.
posted by adamrice at 9:22 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Also, those Knightscape robots remind me of this other autonomous robot.
posted by adamrice at 9:22 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
I hate to ask, but is this a joke website? I mean, the financial stuff bored the shit out of me, and then periodically there's robots.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:27 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:27 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
Help support our mission to make the U.S. the safest country in the world
If that isn't dogwhistling to the suburban MAGA crowd, I don't know what is.
I predict the C-levels suddenly bolt for the Caymans with all that juicy investor cash. I give them six months to make the move. Eight, tops.--Thorzdad
Yeah, some people see that 10% return rate and get greedy. I see it and wonder what the scam is. (There's nothing special about these robots that would merit such a return, in my opinion). As you say, it is probably the classic 'run away with the money'.
posted by eye of newt at 9:41 AM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
If that isn't dogwhistling to the suburban MAGA crowd, I don't know what is.
I predict the C-levels suddenly bolt for the Caymans with all that juicy investor cash. I give them six months to make the move. Eight, tops.--Thorzdad
Yeah, some people see that 10% return rate and get greedy. I see it and wonder what the scam is. (There's nothing special about these robots that would merit such a return, in my opinion). As you say, it is probably the classic 'run away with the money'.
posted by eye of newt at 9:41 AM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
jenfullmoon: I hate to ask, but is this a joke website? I mean, the financial stuff bored the shit out of me, and then periodically there's robots.
Nope, this is for real, I’ve seen TV spots on MSNBC. If it’s a gag, they’ve got a great budget.
posted by dr_dank at 9:54 AM on December 19, 2023
Nope, this is for real, I’ve seen TV spots on MSNBC. If it’s a gag, they’ve got a great budget.
posted by dr_dank at 9:54 AM on December 19, 2023
the financial stuff bored the shit out of me, and then periodically there's robots
My favorite genre of science fiction.
posted by mittens at 9:55 AM on December 19, 2023 [13 favorites]
My favorite genre of science fiction.
posted by mittens at 9:55 AM on December 19, 2023 [13 favorites]
Nice try, nerd-os, but I've already parked my entire mall cop investment budget in BlartBonds. BlartBonds: no spy cams operated by underpaid, untrained folks on the other side of the planet, just iffy mall security provided by good old-fashioned American incompetence. BlartBonds are smart bonds!
As with everything Knightscope-related, I'm always blown away by how unbelievable this is, and how utterly believable it is coming from these specific people. It's incredibly shitty, overpriced tech custom designed to soak up excess cash from bloated police budgets. If they're not making money hand-over-fist with that model already, well, there's fraud somewhere (besides the obvious, visible fraud that is the entire enterprise).
posted by phooky at 9:56 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
As with everything Knightscope-related, I'm always blown away by how unbelievable this is, and how utterly believable it is coming from these specific people. It's incredibly shitty, overpriced tech custom designed to soak up excess cash from bloated police budgets. If they're not making money hand-over-fist with that model already, well, there's fraud somewhere (besides the obvious, visible fraud that is the entire enterprise).
posted by phooky at 9:56 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
(and for those wondering if it's a gag, it absolutely is not; these things have been around for a decade, which is plenty of time to prove their utter uselessness.)
posted by phooky at 9:58 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by phooky at 9:58 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
It is NOT our goal to take your job and rule all mankind.
Oh, that's a relief.
posted by nickmark at 10:10 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh, that's a relief.
posted by nickmark at 10:10 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
This lack of responsiveness and misplaced behavior raises serious doubts about the robot's effectiveness in handling real-time emergencies and its ability to fulfill its intended security functions.
The failure mode of a jumped-up roomba is at least a lot less bad than the failure mode of actual cop, I guess.
posted by BungaDunga at 10:19 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
The failure mode of a jumped-up roomba is at least a lot less bad than the failure mode of actual cop, I guess.
posted by BungaDunga at 10:19 AM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
Just saw an article with one of these in action in Portland.
The consensus in the office is that it will be dumped in the Willamette like all the Lime scooters. Since there's no water in Carwash Fountain it can't drown itself.
posted by Dr. Twist at 10:21 AM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
The consensus in the office is that it will be dumped in the Willamette like all the Lime scooters. Since there's no water in Carwash Fountain it can't drown itself.
posted by Dr. Twist at 10:21 AM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
Just saw an article with one of these in action in Portland.
Willamette Week has their own take, natch.
posted by fiercekitten at 10:32 AM on December 19, 2023
Willamette Week has their own take, natch.
posted by fiercekitten at 10:32 AM on December 19, 2023
1) Put on Donald Trump mask
2) Deploy can of black spray paint creatively
3) Repeat as necessary until these fascists in a can go bankrupt
posted by jcworth at 11:01 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
2) Deploy can of black spray paint creatively
3) Repeat as necessary until these fascists in a can go bankrupt
posted by jcworth at 11:01 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
I feel like stealing them for parts is the correct response.
posted by aubilenon at 11:07 AM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 11:07 AM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
I just read this Tom Tomorrow (today- is that a problem? I can read it tomorrow if you wish)
Seems to share some common ground.
posted by MtDewd at 11:37 AM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
Seems to share some common ground.
posted by MtDewd at 11:37 AM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have a suspicion this thing will be used mainly to roust people sleeping rough. It has various people-detecting cameras, face recognition, license plate reading, annoyingly loud noises, a strobe light, and of course the ability to let remote security guards yell at homeless people. If it's running in parking lots and so on after hours, it won't have to contend with many people and it will just treat anyone it does detect as an intruder.
But I do like how their request for proposal page has a captcha at the bottom: "I'm not a robot"
posted by pracowity at 11:46 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
But I do like how their request for proposal page has a captcha at the bottom: "I'm not a robot"
posted by pracowity at 11:46 AM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
- We need to surround every park in America with millions of unblinking robot basilisks. It will cost a trillion dollars, but it would solve homelessness.
- Couldn't we use that money on jobs, housing, education and healthcare?
- That would be a nanny-state!
posted by adept256 at 11:50 AM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
- Couldn't we use that money on jobs, housing, education and healthcare?
- That would be a nanny-state!
posted by adept256 at 11:50 AM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
Looking at the photo in fiercekitten's link above, my first thought was that the little cut near the top of the thing - probably intended to help the robot convey a Serious Bearing - is immediately ruined by the googly-eye-lookin' cameras below it, which serve to turn that cut from a no-nonsense gaze into an unintimidating combover or cowlick.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 AM on December 19, 2023
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posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 AM on December 19, 2023
It will cost a trillion dollars
* Dalek voice * "Extortionate. Extortionate."
posted by pracowity at 12:13 PM on December 19, 2023 [11 favorites]
* Dalek voice * "Extortionate. Extortionate."
posted by pracowity at 12:13 PM on December 19, 2023 [11 favorites]
They're relying on its size (450 lbs, bottom heavy) to keep it safe, like a creepy Weeble. So if you want to overcome it you clearly need a team of seasoned Robot Wars competitors. Can it withstand a fast-moving wedgebot with a chainsaw attachment? A swarm of minibots? I think we need to test this For Science.
posted by emjaybee at 12:16 PM on December 19, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 12:16 PM on December 19, 2023 [5 favorites]
Seriously? Have none of you people seen Chopping Mall?
posted by SPrintF at 12:21 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 12:21 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
These aren't the droids I'm looking for.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:26 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:26 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
They're relying on its size (450 lbs, bottom heavy) to keep it safe, like a creepy Weeble. So if you want to overcome it you clearly need a team of seasoned Robot Wars competitors. Can it withstand a fast-moving wedgebot with a chainsaw attachment? A swarm of minibots? I think we need to test this For Science.
The Capybara report linked upthread recounts a brief tale of one of these robot Goombas losing a fight with a drunk guy in the park. From this I realize (a) I would pay a lot of money to see video of that fight, and (b) robot fighting leagues may be severely passe, but I don't think anyone's yet plumbed the depths of "asymmetric robot fighting league." Fast-moving wedgebot vs. overgrown roomba? Yes please. Make it a round-robin tournament, include something built by the Mythbusters guys, and make the winner fight the opera-singer-who-shoots-lightning from The Running Man.
Now I'm getting overexcited. Where do I find the Kickstarter for this?
posted by Mayor West at 12:29 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
The Capybara report linked upthread recounts a brief tale of one of these robot Goombas losing a fight with a drunk guy in the park. From this I realize (a) I would pay a lot of money to see video of that fight, and (b) robot fighting leagues may be severely passe, but I don't think anyone's yet plumbed the depths of "asymmetric robot fighting league." Fast-moving wedgebot vs. overgrown roomba? Yes please. Make it a round-robin tournament, include something built by the Mythbusters guys, and make the winner fight the opera-singer-who-shoots-lightning from The Running Man.
Now I'm getting overexcited. Where do I find the Kickstarter for this?
posted by Mayor West at 12:29 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have a suspicion this thing will be used mainly to roust people sleeping rough.
Honestly, the only place I've seen this deployed was an extremely high traffic luxury mall; I assume this is mostly some kind of insurance / contract compliance scam: "look, we don't have mall cops anymore, but we do meet our obligations via 'other means'."
posted by pwnguin at 12:29 PM on December 19, 2023
Honestly, the only place I've seen this deployed was an extremely high traffic luxury mall; I assume this is mostly some kind of insurance / contract compliance scam: "look, we don't have mall cops anymore, but we do meet our obligations via 'other means'."
posted by pwnguin at 12:29 PM on December 19, 2023
‘I’m going to make an annoying security robot the exact size and shape of a rugby league training tackle bag.
The only thing that could possibly go wrong is groups of football players on Mad Monday drinking sessions after they get knocked out of the finals and how likely is that?’
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
The only thing that could possibly go wrong is groups of football players on Mad Monday drinking sessions after they get knocked out of the finals and how likely is that?’
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
Nice try, nerd-os, but I've already parked my entire mall cop investment budget in BlartBonds
Pfft. I'm all-in on Securetronics, especially after they nailed the Park Plaza contract!
Have none of you people seen Chopping Mall?
That film is a thin tissue of disgusting lies that no red-blooded American would deign to look at.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:36 PM on December 19, 2023
Pfft. I'm all-in on Securetronics, especially after they nailed the Park Plaza contract!
Have none of you people seen Chopping Mall?
That film is a thin tissue of disgusting lies that no red-blooded American would deign to look at.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:36 PM on December 19, 2023
the financial stuff bored the shit out of me, and then periodically there's robots
EVE Online!
Also, while I'm not a fan of short-selling in general, I kind of want to see Capybara Research win.
posted by Gorgik at 1:16 PM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
EVE Online!
Also, while I'm not a fan of short-selling in general, I kind of want to see Capybara Research win.
posted by Gorgik at 1:16 PM on December 19, 2023 [3 favorites]
I just read this Tom Tomorrow (today- is that a problem? I can read it tomorrow if you wish)
Seems to share some common ground.
It's more than common ground. The K5 is an actual Knightscope product which, I presume, is actually deployed in NYC.
posted by asnider at 1:28 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Seems to share some common ground.
It's more than common ground. The K5 is an actual Knightscope product which, I presume, is actually deployed in NYC.
posted by asnider at 1:28 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Fine, I'll do it;
ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 1:43 PM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 1:43 PM on December 19, 2023 [8 favorites]
Oh my gosh I saw one of these at a Lowes, up near the store. It weirded me out enough that I took a picture. It was just lurking with lights on near the entrance, KNIGHTSCOPE on the front and Lowe's branding wrapped around the backside. Some enterprising rebel had already graffiti tagged it with marker right above the camera.
Apparently in 2016 one ran over a child in a California mall, so, uh, be careful!
posted by foxfirefey at 2:02 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Apparently in 2016 one ran over a child in a California mall, so, uh, be careful!
posted by foxfirefey at 2:02 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
glibness and jokes aside, how will (they) test this shit out without starting to deploy it
sure, current iteration is mockworthy but I'm a little more concerned with where this is headed
posted by elkevelvet at 2:39 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
sure, current iteration is mockworthy but I'm a little more concerned with where this is headed
posted by elkevelvet at 2:39 PM on December 19, 2023 [2 favorites]
These stupid things don't bother me. I'm much more concerned with the Boston Dynamics robot Dogs.
posted by evilDoug at 3:01 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by evilDoug at 3:01 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
current iteration is mockworthy but I'm a little more concerned with where this is headed
God, this could be said about way too many things in 2023.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:03 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
God, this could be said about way too many things in 2023.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:03 PM on December 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
Will these robots protect us from the terrible secret of space?
posted by interogative mood at 5:40 PM on December 19, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by interogative mood at 5:40 PM on December 19, 2023 [5 favorites]
How do scams so ridiculously obvious get so far? NASDAQ? What?
Maybe regulators need to get themselves some robots that drive around corporation offices and golf courses taking random photos of documents and recording sound clips as they pass an executive etc. etc....
...or they could take one look at this red flag riddled landing page. Surely they'd ask themselves: "wtf is going on here?" and start looking into this pyramid scheme bullshit enterprise?
posted by UN at 5:55 PM on December 19, 2023
Maybe regulators need to get themselves some robots that drive around corporation offices and golf courses taking random photos of documents and recording sound clips as they pass an executive etc. etc....
...or they could take one look at this red flag riddled landing page. Surely they'd ask themselves: "wtf is going on here?" and start looking into this pyramid scheme bullshit enterprise?
posted by UN at 5:55 PM on December 19, 2023
How do scams so ridiculously obvious get so far?
At three miles per hour, apparently.
posted by flabdablet at 7:12 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
At three miles per hour, apparently.
posted by flabdablet at 7:12 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
I saw an ad in a news digest email today and clicked through to the site. It immediately sttruck me as almost comedic or a parodyy except....not, they actually mean to sell these or at least pretend real hard. I could see these trundling around gated communities assuring the inhabitants that real robots are protecting their assets. I thiink anywhere else these junkbots would get rolled by the first junkie who takes offense. Seemed like a site ripe for some metahumor.
posted by diode at 7:48 PM on December 19, 2023
posted by diode at 7:48 PM on December 19, 2023
taken down by a group of rowdy capybara (capybaras? capybarae? capybaristas?)
Capies bara, surely.
posted by flabdablet at 8:55 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Capies bara, surely.
posted by flabdablet at 8:55 PM on December 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
My money's on capybari.
How it got there, I'll never know
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:56 PM on December 19, 2023
How it got there, I'll never know
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:56 PM on December 19, 2023
I think everyone is missing something: this is an initial coin offering pitch after web 3.0 was revealed to be a scam. (ICOs were used by crypto scammers to attract investment before leaving the investors in the dust.) They used almost the exact same language as the scammers here have used. Emphasizing the guaranteed* return on the investment. A couple of small words about the great thing the money will be used for to assuage the guilt at putting the money towards this. A disclaimer at the end about how this week most likely leave you with nothing and they have no responsibility to return your money to you. They're only missing a celebrity endorsement.
(I no longer live in NYC and am not suggesting that anyone damage these fine pieces of technology, but if someone spots one interacting with the third rail, please take a video.)
posted by Hactar at 2:51 AM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
(I no longer live in NYC and am not suggesting that anyone damage these fine pieces of technology, but if someone spots one interacting with the third rail, please take a video.)
posted by Hactar at 2:51 AM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
How it got there, I'll never know
Capybari took short cuts, I suspect.
posted by flabdablet at 2:53 AM on December 20, 2023
Capybari took short cuts, I suspect.
posted by flabdablet at 2:53 AM on December 20, 2023
"I had a guaranteed military sale with ED-209. Renovation program. Spare parts for 25 years. WHO CARES IF IT WORKED OR NOT?"
posted by AlSweigart at 9:45 AM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by AlSweigart at 9:45 AM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
PLEASE KEEP THE PARK CLEAN
YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY
posted by flabdablet at 6:39 PM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY
posted by flabdablet at 6:39 PM on December 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
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posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 7:45 AM on December 19, 2023 [15 favorites]