An Unexpected Honor
November 29, 2017 6:18 PM Subscribe
When Ursula Vernon’s The Tomato Thief won the 2017 Hugo Award for Best Novelette, she gave an acceptance speech the likes of which you’ve never heard.
Well. This is an unexpected honor. My fellow winners have said some very meaningful things up here on the stage tonight. I want to talk to you about dead whales.
This is very fitting, because I've always felt sci-fi/fantasy should basically be the author holding up new ideas and going "Look at this! Isn't that cool?"*
*(or 'horrific' or 'interesting', whatever.)
posted by The otter lady at 6:28 PM on November 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
*(or 'horrific' or 'interesting', whatever.)
posted by The otter lady at 6:28 PM on November 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
I love her closing comment
posted by Nelson at 6:31 PM on November 29, 2017 [23 favorites]
Now, you’re probably all asking what whalefall has to do with awards ceremonies, or science fiction novelettes, and the answer is: absolutely nothing. But how often do I get to tell an audience this size about whalefall?Imagine if the Oscars winners did this.
posted by Nelson at 6:31 PM on November 29, 2017 [23 favorites]
Her twitter from around the Hugos was also great, as is her rant against paladins.
posted by dinty_moore at 6:34 PM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
posted by dinty_moore at 6:34 PM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
I have not yet read her work aside from this speech but I am now a fan.
posted by vegartanipla at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by vegartanipla at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
This is the greatest. Thanks, OP!
posted by Bella Donna at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2017
posted by Bella Donna at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2017
Ursula Vernon AKA T. Kingfisher is an absolute literary and artistic treasure and I highly encourage you to seek out her work in all forms. Also her Twitter rants are GREAT.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:40 PM on November 29, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by nicebookrack at 6:40 PM on November 29, 2017 [12 favorites]
Metafilter: Tell an audience about whalefall
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:49 PM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:49 PM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
Fantastic. Thank you for this.
posted by greermahoney at 7:10 PM on November 29, 2017
posted by greermahoney at 7:10 PM on November 29, 2017
I would not like to see this turned into a Zen Pencils panel.
TheOatmeal? Sure, why not.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:14 PM on November 29, 2017
TheOatmeal? Sure, why not.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:14 PM on November 29, 2017
Or maybe let Ursula turn it into an illustrated thing herself, Roland; she's a fairly capable artist as well as a writer.
posted by egypturnash at 7:45 PM on November 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by egypturnash at 7:45 PM on November 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
Ursula Vernon is a national treasure and should get all the awards and give all the acceptance speeches.
posted by tdismukes at 7:49 PM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by tdismukes at 7:49 PM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
Humans are made to do certain things. Use their brains to figure out problems, run long distances to chase prey, love our children, fuck people we come to fancy. We also evolved to tell stories about things and wow each other. Whenever Modern Living is getting me down, I try my to remember the things biology ordained us to do.
If I ever win some kind of award for anything, I’m going to start my acceptance speech with something like “I’d like to tell you this amazing thing that happened to me about when I was 25 and in charge for the first time of the Intensive Care Unit that accepted trauma from five states...”
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:51 PM on November 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
If I ever win some kind of award for anything, I’m going to start my acceptance speech with something like “I’d like to tell you this amazing thing that happened to me about when I was 25 and in charge for the first time of the Intensive Care Unit that accepted trauma from five states...”
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:51 PM on November 29, 2017 [8 favorites]
Well...go on!
posted by d. z. wang at 8:14 PM on November 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by d. z. wang at 8:14 PM on November 29, 2017 [9 favorites]
Ursula Vernon / T. Kingfisher short stories you can read online for free right now
she's a fairly capable artist
Ursula Vernon drew the LOLWUT pear and thus will live on in artistic legend long after our grandchildren are dead. Also Mythopoeic Award-winning wombat webcomic Digger, two illustrated children's books series, yadda yadda etc.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:32 PM on November 29, 2017 [24 favorites]
she's a fairly capable artist
Ursula Vernon drew the LOLWUT pear and thus will live on in artistic legend long after our grandchildren are dead. Also Mythopoeic Award-winning wombat webcomic Digger, two illustrated children's books series, yadda yadda etc.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:32 PM on November 29, 2017 [24 favorites]
The tomato thief is a quick read that left me wanting more. Train Priests, The Mother of Trains, a girl with cholla rib bones.
---
A friend of mine won a beer brewing competition many years ago. They were expected to give a 3 to 5 minute acceptance speech, but they felt very uncomfortable speaking in front of 20+ people.
They prepared infusions of half a dozen types of malts and half a dozen types of hops. I helped them fill and label a few hundred .75 oz disposable cups (the ones one may get for ketchup or salsa) and set them up on little cardboard trays.
This is a full transcript of the speech:
"Please taste and savor the different malts and hops."
Pause for a couple minutes waiting for people to taste.
"Thank you".
They got a standing ovation.
posted by Index Librorum Prohibitorum at 8:40 PM on November 29, 2017 [31 favorites]
---
A friend of mine won a beer brewing competition many years ago. They were expected to give a 3 to 5 minute acceptance speech, but they felt very uncomfortable speaking in front of 20+ people.
They prepared infusions of half a dozen types of malts and half a dozen types of hops. I helped them fill and label a few hundred .75 oz disposable cups (the ones one may get for ketchup or salsa) and set them up on little cardboard trays.
This is a full transcript of the speech:
"Please taste and savor the different malts and hops."
Pause for a couple minutes waiting for people to taste.
"Thank you".
They got a standing ovation.
posted by Index Librorum Prohibitorum at 8:40 PM on November 29, 2017 [31 favorites]
as is her rant against paladins.
I'm not sure that's such a great rant, it's maybe barely ok, but her speech is indeed a work of art.
posted by GuyZero at 8:51 PM on November 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure that's such a great rant, it's maybe barely ok, but her speech is indeed a work of art.
posted by GuyZero at 8:51 PM on November 29, 2017 [1 favorite]
You mean we're meant to accept the story of the bloated corpse of a once proud leviathan sinking into the depths to endlessly be harvested by nameless scavengers at face value? In 2017??
I mean, it is very cool, but whale tales are almost without exception metaphors.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 9:56 PM on November 29, 2017 [10 favorites]
I mean, it is very cool, but whale tales are almost without exception metaphors.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 9:56 PM on November 29, 2017 [10 favorites]
It’s an interesting subject and I like the approach to a speech, but I would also assume a lot of Radiolab listeners in the audience who have heard it before.
posted by oneironaut at 5:19 AM on November 30, 2017
posted by oneironaut at 5:19 AM on November 30, 2017
I have a question about the Paladin rant - I know she blames D&D for the "if a knight pursues the path of perfection, woe unto those that stray" trope, but isn't that straight from Lancelot? Also, do I misremember or hasn't there been a path/spell for atonement since 1st edition?
posted by Easy problem of consciousness at 5:37 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Easy problem of consciousness at 5:37 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
I fucking love Ursula Version and have been following her with worshipful adoration since 2006, and I love dead whales and women who love them, so this thing is like the platonic ideal of a post for me. I am so happy, and I am delighted imagining the zombie worms flowering around the unexpected windfall of whale flesh. Would that my carcass could nourish so many when I die.
posted by sciatrix at 5:52 AM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by sciatrix at 5:52 AM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
Also, do I misremember or hasn't there been a path/spell for atonement since 1st edition?
1st ed, iirc, simply said nothing on the matter. 2nd and 3rd probably wrote whole follow-on books on paladins so who know what's buried there. but if she's going to rant, she better quote chapter and verse otherwise there's not much there there.
Ursula, if you ever find this thread, I'm sure you're mystified on how much we care about your Paladin rant.
posted by GuyZero at 9:20 AM on November 30, 2017
1st ed, iirc, simply said nothing on the matter. 2nd and 3rd probably wrote whole follow-on books on paladins so who know what's buried there. but if she's going to rant, she better quote chapter and verse otherwise there's not much there there.
Ursula, if you ever find this thread, I'm sure you're mystified on how much we care about your Paladin rant.
posted by GuyZero at 9:20 AM on November 30, 2017
The Paladin rant led indirectly (or directly) to Ursula's latest novel, Clockwork Boys, which includes as a character a broken Paladin. Also an unrepentant forger and a cheerful assassin. It's great fun, much recommended, although it's only part 1. Part 2 will be out in February, I think.
posted by suelac at 9:51 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by suelac at 9:51 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
She's flat wrong about paladins; how strict the god is and whether or not the pally can atone is firmly DM discretion. Her complaint is about bad GMs, not bad systems.
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 10:13 AM on November 30, 2017
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 10:13 AM on November 30, 2017
What a great speech, and what a fantastic story - I loved that.
posted by fever-trees at 11:23 PM on December 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by fever-trees at 11:23 PM on December 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
She's flat wrong about paladins; how strict the god is and whether or not the pally can atone is firmly DM discretion. Her complaint is about bad GMs, not bad systems.
But that's true of any rule or aspect of D&D you don't like.
Saying "It's not a bad rule because the DM can ignore it" is not a very robust defense of the rule.
posted by straight at 1:45 AM on December 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
But that's true of any rule or aspect of D&D you don't like.
Saying "It's not a bad rule because the DM can ignore it" is not a very robust defense of the rule.
posted by straight at 1:45 AM on December 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
But that's true of any rule or aspect of D&D you don't like.
Saying "It's not a bad rule because the DM can ignore it" is not a very robust defense of the rule.
It's not that the DM can ignore it, it's that they're expected to make the call based on their own discretion about whether a fall is warranted, and if so, how and under what terms the paladin can atone. The atonement spell has similar rules - the DM decides what the task is that fulfills the terms. The rule is literally "whatever the DM thinks is correct," within loosely worded guidelines about making it appropriate to character and campaign and of course Rule Zero, which states that this game is for fun and anything that is not creating fun should be altered at will.
(which, sidebar, is the underlying design principle of ALL tabletop RPG rules. The rules are there for structure, fairness, and to add an element of chaos for players to respond to via dice rolls/card draws. Their nature is optional)
Hardline DMs who take the strictest possible reading resulting in paladins falling for failure to say grace or not knowing something bad would happen as a direct result of their reasonable-based-on-existing-information actions do exist. DMs who assign "kill Tiamet" as the atonement spell for idk, murdering in rage, do exist. But that's not because the rule tells them to, it's because they've chosen, for whatever deep seated psychological reason, to interpret the rule strictly to the point of absurdity. The rule itself merely states that paladins who transgress have fallen and will have to complete atonement (if available) to restore their status. It gives no specifics, other than I think some versions require the use of the atonement spell and others allow it to be more free form. And the option of atonement is, let me note, explicitly available at least in 3.5 on upward. So that aspect of her argument is wrong on its face.
Paladins should be able to fall; indeed, they must be able to, otherwise being a paladin requires no sacrifice, so why should your god give you special prizes?
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 5:19 PM on December 3, 2017
Saying "It's not a bad rule because the DM can ignore it" is not a very robust defense of the rule.
It's not that the DM can ignore it, it's that they're expected to make the call based on their own discretion about whether a fall is warranted, and if so, how and under what terms the paladin can atone. The atonement spell has similar rules - the DM decides what the task is that fulfills the terms. The rule is literally "whatever the DM thinks is correct," within loosely worded guidelines about making it appropriate to character and campaign and of course Rule Zero, which states that this game is for fun and anything that is not creating fun should be altered at will.
(which, sidebar, is the underlying design principle of ALL tabletop RPG rules. The rules are there for structure, fairness, and to add an element of chaos for players to respond to via dice rolls/card draws. Their nature is optional)
Hardline DMs who take the strictest possible reading resulting in paladins falling for failure to say grace or not knowing something bad would happen as a direct result of their reasonable-based-on-existing-information actions do exist. DMs who assign "kill Tiamet" as the atonement spell for idk, murdering in rage, do exist. But that's not because the rule tells them to, it's because they've chosen, for whatever deep seated psychological reason, to interpret the rule strictly to the point of absurdity. The rule itself merely states that paladins who transgress have fallen and will have to complete atonement (if available) to restore their status. It gives no specifics, other than I think some versions require the use of the atonement spell and others allow it to be more free form. And the option of atonement is, let me note, explicitly available at least in 3.5 on upward. So that aspect of her argument is wrong on its face.
Paladins should be able to fall; indeed, they must be able to, otherwise being a paladin requires no sacrifice, so why should your god give you special prizes?
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 5:19 PM on December 3, 2017
1. Pretending that the usual interpretation of paladins tends to be rather hardline about their morality isn't doing anyone any good - for one thing, you can look at how paladins have been interpreted in D&D CRPGs to see that's the case (the entire paladin rant came about after playing Neverwinter Nights 2). Just because it doesn't have to be so according to the rules doesn't mean it's not that way in the culture - for one thing, the usual interpretation of alignment isn't exactly supported by 5E either. Or of Paladins being lawful good - they haven't had to be lawful good for a long while. The rules don't dictate that it has to be that way, but there's still the conception of the ur-paladin being a lawful good stick in the mud.
2. I think reading part 2 of the rant might help if you think she's saying that paladins should never be able to fall.
Also, just read clockwork boys this weekend, highly recommend it except for the fact that it's definitely the first half of a story and the next part doesn't come out until February.
posted by dinty_moore at 9:10 PM on December 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
2. I think reading part 2 of the rant might help if you think she's saying that paladins should never be able to fall.
Also, just read clockwork boys this weekend, highly recommend it except for the fact that it's definitely the first half of a story and the next part doesn't come out until February.
posted by dinty_moore at 9:10 PM on December 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm not disputing that the culture and interpretation of paladins has been ridiculous. I'm saying that the rules themselves don't make that inevitable, so her beef is with players & DMs, not the system as written.
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 12:21 PM on December 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 12:21 PM on December 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
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