The Sausage King of Northeast

September 29, 2016 7:27 AM

Beards, beer and flannel: 11 guys compete for the title of Mr. Northeast Minneapolis "...the men of Northeast compete before a panel of celebrity judges in such distinguished categories as “Fashion,” “Talent,” and "Question and Answer" to capture the crown, the title and fabulous prizes."

What does it mean to be from Northeast Minneapolis? The news release sheds a little light on it for those who aren’t familiar:

“Walking on nails with a million dollar scowl, there he is, Mr. Northeast. When asked he can discuss craft brewing for hours while stroking his luxurious facial hair. Dressed in only his finest flannel, Mr. Northeast is looking for the kind of love you can only find at bar close. From the wrong side of the tracks, collecting vinyl before it was cool, more legend than mere mortal, he’s got what it takes to represent his corner of the city. He’ll take the town by storm, with his all-American face and form, he’s Mr. Northeast!”

The distinguished judging panel includes Sean Tillmann (Har Mar Superstar), Lori Barbero (Babes in Toyland), Tony Zaccardi (Romantica, Eleganza!), Robyne Robinson (News anchor/reporter), and Aaron Neumann (Northeast Guy)!

posted by jillithd (28 comments total)

I feel like we need a meetup.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:39 AM on September 29, 2016 [7 favorites]

Came for the photos of bearded men wearing flannel, left disappointed.
posted by hippybear at 7:42 AM on September 29, 2016 [18 favorites]

Where are these men that we may judge them?
posted by mittens at 7:43 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Indeed we need a meetup I wonder if Mr. Northeast will he win a mountainous mound of meat from Kramarczuks?
posted by jadepearl at 7:43 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hmmm.... no prizes of meat were offered to the winner. I ask you, how does one not celebrate one's prowess without an offering of hecatombs of meat upon a fire?
posted by jadepearl at 7:46 AM on September 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

Came for the photos of bearded men wearing flannel, left disappointed.

Sorry, hippybear. The idea of it made me smile so much, I had to post it before there'd be pictures to post.
posted by jillithd at 7:46 AM on September 29, 2016

Came for the photos of bearded men wearing flannel, left disappointed.

Please consider this slideshow an attempt at restitution from the North Star state.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:48 AM on September 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

Will the talent portion include at least one dude playing air guitar to the Replacements song of their choice?
posted by pxe2000 at 8:08 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have no chance in the Northeast but I am totally winning the South Mpls "Best Beard in My House" contest. (It doesn't hurt that my current competition is either female, 7, or a cat.)
posted by caution live frogs at 8:11 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Know three-fifths of the judges; Aaron is the only one I know has a well-established connection to Northeast (although Robyn has, or had, a Jewelry store on Washington). Northeast has sort of become associate with Minneapolis beardos, it used to be, and a fair amount of it still is, working class ethnic whites with their roots in Eastern Europe.

I'd complain about gentrification, but that ship has sailed, and it's no more worth my time complaining that this festival doesn't seem concerned about the Eastern European heritage of Northeast than the fact the downtown Minneapolis does not celebrate its lumberjack or skid row heritage.

Still, it's a part of town that still has Kramarczuks, Sikora's Polish Market & Deli, St. Constantine Ukrainian Catholic Church, which serves eastern European lunches in Fridays, Sentyrz Market, and more. It's still a living heritage if people want to explore it
posted by maxsparber at 8:29 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

I...know several of the people involved in this. Not well, but still.

You want to know from gentrification? Back when I was a mere slip of a thing, Nordeast was still mostly known for small working class houses, Eastern European and German immigrant communities, churches and the kind of bars that have meat raffles. If you bike up northish past the heavily gentrified part, that's still what's there, basically.

One always goes "over Northeast", as in "that Polish bakery with the good rye is over Northeast". One also used to say "Nordeast", back in the day. One also goes "over North", as in "Ancestry Books is over North". I don't think people over Nordeast say "over South".
posted by Frowner at 8:29 AM on September 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

Came for the "Nord'east," left disappointed.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:51 AM on September 29, 2016

(But even in my disappointment, Minnesota Nice requires me to add that "Those are real nice beards, there, and those young guys sure do make some super beers.")
posted by wenestvedt at 8:52 AM on September 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

My Minnesota nice would compel me to say "Interesting choices dere. Someone else mighta gone with the idea that a Northeastern man can make a good pirogi or dago sandwich, play a mean polka accordion, or was in the original studio audience for Bowling for Dollars when it was filmed at Elsie's, but, okay, I bet you have your reasons."
posted by maxsparber at 9:11 AM on September 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

I believe one would say "Lotta fellows mighta gone with the idea..." or even "Lotta fellows mighta figured..."

Thus: "Lotta fellows mighta figured that being from Nordeast was about making pirogis....but I bet you have your reasons", etc.
posted by Frowner at 9:15 AM on September 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

Still, it's a part of town that still has Kramarczuks, Sikora's Polish Market & Deli, St. Constantine Ukrainian Catholic Church, which serves eastern European lunches in Fridays, Sentyrz Market, and more. It's still a living heritage if people want to explore it

Northeast is also a part of town that has Emily's Lebanese Deli, Gasthof Zur Gemutlichkeit, and a thriving (though probably not as diverse as it could be) arts district, not to mention the algamation of Muslim, Hmong, and Mexican stores, restaurants and community centers along up and down Central.

I mean, I'm not going to pretend that this hipsterier than thou competition (that could easily be labeled Mr. Portland) is going to capture everything that NorthEast has going for it, but it's always been a place for more than one type of white person, and getting even more so.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:22 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh sure. I'd be just as happy if the competition included any of those elements, instead of seeming to be "dudes with big beards who drink microbrewery beer and listen to Radio K."
posted by maxsparber at 9:25 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Years worth of beer? Shit, for that I'd enter a fucking pole dancing tournament.

Also, as a bearded, beflanneled dude, I'd probably do ok in the Minneapolis thing.
posted by jonmc at 9:27 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

jonmc, I'm pretty sure Minneapolis has a pole dance competition you could enter.
posted by nickmark at 9:50 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

When we lived in the Cities we always hit the Oktoberfest at Gasthof zur Gemütlichkeit. Smaller than the one in Munich but still heavy on the utter drunken joyous chaos. I remember a friend of mine dancing with a polka with a drunk mayor of Minneapolis (SSB!). Good times indeed.

Do not forget Jax Cafe, still the best old school supper club I know.
posted by Ber at 9:51 AM on September 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

I believe one would say "Lotta fellows mighta gone with the idea..." or even "Lotta fellows mighta figured..."

My uncle Tim from The Range starts with a slow "Well, a guy could...."
posted by wenestvedt at 10:01 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hello, I am from NE Minneapolis! AMA

I saw this was happening and thought it sounded kind of interesting but then realized that like every other fun event in NE, it will likely be crowded as hell and thus my worst nightmare.
posted by triggerfinger at 10:50 AM on September 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

jonmc, I'm pretty sure Minneapolis has a pole dance competition you could enter.

The Deuce Deuce is closed now, so I don't know about that.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:39 AM on September 29, 2016

I think BJs is still open, but it's not really Northeast.
posted by maxsparber at 12:14 PM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

I guess "Mr. Hipster" was too rhymey as a title.
posted by Autumnheart at 2:27 PM on September 29, 2016

Did a CTRL+F for 'Craig Finn', zero results. WTF?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:12 PM on September 29, 2016

Did a CTRL+F for 'Craig Finn', zero results. WTF?

He hasn't lived here in like 15 years.
posted by padraigin at 8:30 PM on September 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Maybe he got blown away by the Southtown girls. I understand why sometimes Charlemagne gets uptight.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:47 PM on September 30, 2016 [1 favorite]